Celebrating a "Happy Ending"

The past few weeks have been quite eventful for the Beans family. Last Wednesday marked the final day of progesterone injections and on Friday we had our first appointment with the new OB/GYN.

While the final shot has occurred, Mrs. Beans' butt continues to bear the tell-tale tracks of someone with a severe heroin habit. Apparently her poor little rump was a bit more damaged than we had anticipated, as layers of skin have started to peel and flake off. Yuck.

Frankly, we are both relieved to be done with this part of the process; although, our initial needle resentments primarily centered on the limitations that the timing of the shot put on our social life. That really isn't a problem anymore, since Mrs. Beans is now exhausted from playing the role of a 24/7 "hostess with the mostess" to our unborn children (now in fetus size!). Case in point, a few weeks ago we made a trip to Target and had an early supper (4:30) at a Friendly's in the mall parking lot. Let's just say we were a little out of place.

Seinfeld used to have a bit about the employees who worked at the movie theater. Something about all of the ticket takers being either 14 or 84 and that it took 70 years to move three feet. The same can be said about the clientèle of a Friendly's restaurant, everyone was either under 20 or over 80. And can we discuss the "Happy Ending" dessert? Who the hell came up with that marketing campaign? Is it a joke? Do they have a special training for the wait staff so they can practice asking customers if they want a happy ending with a straight face? Is there any estimate on the number of WWII vets who were disappointed after ordering a meal from the senior menu with the promise or a FREE Happy Ending, only to realize later that it is a clown shaped ice cream cone and not a sex act?

In addition to our outrageously exciting social lives we have also transitioned to a new OB/GYN. The atmosphere in the waiting room could not be more different. Imagine a world where it is permissible to make eye contact! We did get quite a chuckle out of our first appointment. First or all, we had never realized that the world is so rife with STDs! Of course, we had been screened during our fertility treatments, but we must have answered a dozen questions and this is also the first chapter in most of the pregnancy books that we have been reading.

The highlight of the exam was when the nurse asked me if I had fathered any other children.

"Ummm, have you seen my lab results?"

Glances at computer

"Oh. I'll just check no."

We were a little disappointed that we did not get another ultrasound (we were eager to check in), but apparently in the fertile world they do not monitor you quite as closely. However, since we do have twins and are technically "high risk" we are having an Early Risk Assessment next week, so we will get to take another peak. Apparently, they can get a much better idea about any developmental issues by taking a blood sample and taking some extensive measurements using the ultrasound. Based on the results we can decide if we need to do amniocentesis in the 16th week. Pretty cool stuff and we are excited at the prospect of getting more information and potentially avoiding a rather invasive test later on.

And finally we received our due date, July 9th! It really doesn't mean much since twins tend to go earlier, but we are still excited to have a target date in mind.