Bean Wolf!

Over the past few days I have been trying to catch up on my blog reading and I have noticed that some bloggers have transferred me over to the "expecting" category on their blog rolls. This is totally fine (and accurate), but this came as a bit of a shock. Mrs. Beans and I still "knock on wood" about about every ten minutes. As previously mentioned, we are very nervous and continue to worry incessantly about the status of Mary-Kate and Ashley. I know that at week 12 the chances of "that which shall not be named" decrease significantly, but I think that I might continue to work over the ol' worry dolls until the birth... or maybe even high school graduation (side note: In 3rd grade I "shop-lifted" a worry doll on a field trip to an international fair in Minneapolis, and then in a fit of irony proceeded to use the worry doll to lament my crime and inevitable capture/incarceration).

It is a little awkward to shift identities. One day I am "Infertile Frank" and the next I am "Fertile Frank" (with 14,000 dollars worth of assistance). Strange as it seems, I had grown accustomed to the label of "infertile." It is a label that has brought so much pain to our lives, but at the same time it has become a part of my identity. Now I need some time to learn a new role, that of an "expecting father," but I am hesitant to try it on for fear that it might be stripped away. Okay, this is getting pretty deep, pretty fast... hmmm, I need an inappropriate and light hearted analogy.... Got it!

This transition from "infertile" to "expecting father" is not unlike the character transformation detailed in the 80s hit film Teen Wolf! As you may recall, the protagonist is Scott Howard (played by Michael J. Fox), an average Midwestern teen, who starts to undergo a series of mysterious changes (to him anyway, not so mysterious if you saw the movie poster). Initially the signs of the transformation are subtle, a long chest hair, rapidly growing fingernails, glowing red eyes, etc., but eventually he loses control and completely morphs into his werewolf alter ego.

Thanks to the help of his best friend "Stiles" and his prodigious basketball skills, he is embraced by the students and the town-at-large. Unfortunately, the rapid transformation triggers a minor identity crisis in Scott and he struggles to adapt to his new powers. Eventually, he comes to learn that the old Scott wasn't so bad and that the "wolf," while a significant part of him, does not define him as an individual. Perhaps it is the same way with my transformation. Certainly fatherhood will change me in some fundamental ways, but "Infertile Frank" is still an important part of who I am and always will be.

Also, some lingering Teen Wolf questions/observations:

The antagonist in the film is Mick, who competes with Scott for the girl Pamela Wells and on the basketball court (he plays for the Dragons). Yet, somehow they also attend the same high school? Can someone please explain to me how they can attend the same small Midwestern high school and yet play for different high school teams?

Next, is dribbling really an obvious "wolf" skill? If anything, I would think that the elongated hind legs would be a hindrance to an individual's hoop skills. Furthermore, I think that the immediate acceptance of Scott by the rest of the student body was a little too quick. I don't know about the rest of you, but "different" didn't exactly fly at my high school.

Finally, what kind of nickname is Boof? I looked it up on IMDB and the character's name is "Lisa 'Boof' Marconi," so it is not like Boof is short for Boofinski or something. "7th Grade Frank" always thought that Boof sounded dirty, but my 7th grade body also found algebra vaguely erotic (I also giggled that the team mascot in the movie was the "Beaver"). "Modern Frank" still thinks that Boof is a little suspect and frankly, it didn't seem like that was her first time "in the closet" if you know what I mean. I would be willing to bet that Boof's name is carved into quite a few bathroom stalls in Beacontown High School.

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving everyone... and to our Canadian friends, well Boxing Day is just around the corner.